I recently heard the expression ‘deep heart healing’ and it struck a cord of significance. My interpretation of this phrase refers to how emotional pain has the potential to cause deeply felt aches that seem to rock our core and radiate through our entire being. This type of hurt requires an intimate, and often times uncomfortable, examination of our thoughts and feelings in order to heal more fully. I’ve found myself in states where if I allowed myself to truly lean into my ‘icky’ emotions, it could be felt in my physical body. The more I experience this type of pain, the more I realize that these moments, although unpleasant, are necessary for me to develop and grow.

Over the last few years, I’ve invested a considerable amount of time and energy into allowing myself to feel all of the emotions that bubble up to the surface of my consciousness. I try to not shy away from these feelings, although most of the time it seems easier to do so (in the short term, anyway). 

I’m not alone in experiencing this type of pain. Everyone has their fair share of troubling experiences; some of which occur only momentarily, others that seem to stick around longer, lingering in our subconscious awaiting to resurface in our most vulnerable states. It’s perfectly normal for this to happen. We humans have an uncanny ability to store things away in the back of our minds, assuming they have been properly dealt with or we’re unaware of the impact that they actually had. When we store them away, consciously or unconsciously, the pain remains and can trickle out into other areas of our lives, having a ripple effect on how we think, feel, love, and connect. Have you ever felt yourself react to a situation strongly and were surprised by how dark and twisty you became, but weren’t quite certain what caused you to feel that way to begin with? Pain has a way of transforming and transferring into other contexts. 

In my experience, through embracing our pain and allowing it to simply exist, we have an advantage. When I say allowing it to exist, I mean that we aren’t trying to shut it down and hush it up. We’re seeking to understand it’s origin - to bring it out from the depths of our achey hearts and darkened minds and examine it in the light. It’s important that when this is happening we aren’t harshly criticizing ourselves for feeling this pain. Instead, we want to look at it with softness, understanding, love, and openness. Because ultimately, our pain is valid and it truly hurts. 

The healing process takes time and requires patience. It can also look vastly different from person to person. For example, I find that writing helps me sort through my experiences and make sense of what’s going on. In the pages of my journal, I’m able to have a raw and real conversation with myself where I unleash my thoughts in a free flow stream, allowing whatever is there to come out onto the pages. Other people might unload through conversations with friends and/or family, or through writing music or poetry. Regardless of the medium we resonate most with, it’s a matter of allowing your feelings to flow through you without holding on too tightly to them. Allow yourself to feel it for what it is and find a way to release it.